I’m Not Your Victim

The media is reeling with all these sexual assault victims stepping forward in Film, T.V, and Music. I honestly can say I am proud to hear people releasing their pain and speaking their truths. It’s sad but I can’t say I’m surprised. I too have had a harrowing experience. In May of 2017 I met Charles “Droopy” Morales on an NYC train he had just finish filming a music video. I was on my way home. We struck up a conversation about my hair, which lead to me asking Charles “Droopy” Morales about his tri-pod. I quickly learned I was talking to a hitmaker who has works with Def Jam. At first he was trying to explain to me what a tripod was, I laughed I had to quickly told him not only did I know what a tri- pod was I was a filmmaker and editor. I told him I was in need of a director for a music video, my track Wonder Woman was about to drop and I needed to have the video shot. He told me he needed an editor so he gave me his number and told me to call him.

 I called him and we had a good conversation about our career and at first we were going to do multiple projects together so it was a win, win. I was excited I thought this was a good look for my business period. I am the CEO of Da Kidz Media a media company that specializes in Books, Film, and Music. I just opened my business independently. I thought I lucked up I thought this would be a great partnership big mistake! I am just glad he showed me his true colors within a few weeks.

Charles “Droopy” Morales called me and asked me to back him up when he had to shoot a music video for an independent artist. He asked me to meet him at his house to pick up the equipment. Once I got to his house he started going crazy because not only was he was running late, what I was told was the artist wanted to see a ruff cut of the footage he already had. So he begged me to not only to back him up but now also do a quick ruff edit of the footage. He said don’t worry I will only charge you $500 for your music video for all the help you are doing for me.

So of course now I’m thinking this is great he can see the many hats I wear plus I’m getting a discount for my video so I agree. I tell him to calm down I told him to hand me a pen and paper I asked him what’s all the equipment we is going to need for the night. I write down all he says to pack up than I sit down on his couch in this living room. I told him to start getting ready and I’m going to edit the footage and while the film is rendering I will pack his gear. He hands me his MAC laptop and his flash drive tells me I’m a lifesaver. He than takes off his shirt turns around pulls off his shorts and underwear in the doorway and walks into the bathroom.

 At first I thinking he was just going crazy and he’s in a rush so he’s probably not in his right state of mind and since he went into the bathroom and closed the door I just dismissed it as a mistake. So I do the ruff cut, he’s getting ready, the equipment is all packed up and we are out the door headed to this shoot. When we arrive at the venue we walks over to the artist and their crowd. He introduces me to everyone and I sit down with all his equipment. While he is speaking to the artist and showing them the video, I can see the artist is not happy so I ask one of the artist relatives what’s wrong?

The artist cousin says we were late and this is a release for the video. So I said there in shock because I had no idea that this was a video release. I felt so bad but I thought I will get footage and once I really sit down with the footage I will make the video amazing. The song was for a loved one who had passed away so I wanted them to see that no matter what happen before we are ready to work. They take the stage and perform Droopy is shooting I’m backing him up he hands me the SD card to upload the footage. He slides another SD card in his camera its full so he asked me to hurry up and clear off the other SD card, I do, but its not allowing him to record over the old footage. The artist is almost done with the performance and he barley has any footage of the performance. So I see the relatives are sounding the stage filming with their phones so after the performance we are packing up I ask one of the relatives to send me the footage she recorded.

We pack up the equipment and leave the venue. We walk to the train the whole ride back to his houses he doesn’t say a word but I can see he has an attitude. I’m thinking he’s mad at himself and how the night went. Once we get back to his house his roommate is in the living room when we first walked in he tells his roommate he’s stressed out. He introduces me to his roommate, the roommate ask him if he has any meds they both take some pills. He asks me if I want one I tell him no He than says to me next time I come to a club make sure I’m dressed for the occasion. He than tells me to relax the night is finally over he tells me to put the equipment back in the room.

Once I go to the room and put the equipment down he walks into the room closes the door behind him and tells me I came through tonight and I did good work. He says that he can make a partnership deal with Death Jam; he said he could get Eminem to let me use his beat. He tells me I need a re-brand. I’m beautiful but I need to lose a couple of pounds. He says I have great breast and need to use them more and than asks me to spend the night.  He said he liked everything except the sneaky thing I did with the cousin.

I asked what did I do wrong he said I saw you give her your number. So at that point I was very angry I told him he had some nerve. I told him first I’m not spending a night I didn’t go in debt racking up student loans to sleep me way up to the top. I told him he made me look bad I quickly explained first he didn’t tell me the truth. This was not a video shoot this was suppose to be a video release, a video release for a deceased relative. It was a ruff cut of the video and most of that footage needed to be re-shot.

As for me giving the cousin my number the cousin got all of the stage performance and I asked her to send me the footage so at least you would have something. I never said anything about here is my number to do videos or anything like that. I have integrity I was there to back you up I’m not that type of person and this aint love and hip-hop. I walked out the room and he follows me he apologize and tells me he respects me he sees I’m about my business and he says he was just testing me to see what type of person I was.

He hands me a tablet and a flash drive with the song on it. He tells me he needs me to go over all the footage again at home and see what I can use. I finally leave. The next few times we were suppose to meet up I cancel because I was sick. We exchange calls over the next few days. He calls me for us to talk about my video and my video shoot. I was in the liquor store bring wine so I said I’m free tonight I tell him I’m celebrating!

  He asks me what are we celebrating I tell him I just got the license to use the superman instrumental. He says wow great pick him up some whiskey. I go to the ATM to withdraw a deposit. I then go to his house. I hand him the bottle and $250 in cash I tell him I will give him the other $250 he will get the rest of the cash the day of the shoot. We are sit in the living room he asks me if I have me laptop I tell him yes he says his dog bit up his charger.

So I hand him my charger I tell him he can use it until he gets a new one. I have a backup charger. He tells me he’s seen my work and he is proud of what I’m doing. He tells me we can go so far with all the ideas that I have. I told him I wanted a money gun for one of my artist. He goes in his closet and pulls out a money gun. He starts hopping around on the couch saying we are so much alike we think the same.

 He says with his help we both can go to the next level. I told him I also am working on a screenplay. He asks me if I have ever seen the Kevin Spacey show House of Cards. I tell him no he says it’s his favorite show and how I need to see it we have a drink while he is explaining what the show it about. He jumps a few episodes and cuts to a part where Kevin Spacey and blonde hair chick are in the bed having sex after they fool around Kevin spacey drops the girls cell phone in water and tells her he will buy her a new phone He pauses the show looks at me and says we can be great.

I’m sitting in the corner of his couch its an L shape. He jumps up onto my lap straddling me and tells me he wants us to be like the house of cards show. He tells me he can change my life than he lays his head in between my breast. I push him to get off of me I tell him he is bugging out He tells me he wish he didn’t get married that we would be the perfect couple. Than he bear hugs me I tell him that needs to calm down and we already had this conversation. I tell him he is lonely since his wife left him and I tell him I can get him a girl to satisfy his needs. I tell him the next time I see him I will have a get down chick with me.

I told him lets not ruin our working relationship with sex. He finally got up off of me I got up and said I will have her call you and I left. Once I got home  he called me and said he didn’t want a get down girl he wanted me he said he is getting tired of me acting like I don’t know what’s going on. He told me I need to get down off my high horse and stop acting like I’ m all that! He said it didn’t matter that I went to school for film no one knows me I haven’t gotten down and my street creed is in question.

He said the next time anyone in the business offers me some drugs I should take it. He said I made his roommate feel uncomfortable. I told him I didn’t care I’m not going to be engaging in drugs. He told me I didn’t want this bad enough and I didn’t need it bad enough. He told me He wasn’t bad looking and did I know what he had to do when he first got into the business. He told me he’s not gay but he got undressed and allowed a man to jerk off in front of him. He said he didn’t have sex but he wasn’t gay he just wanted more than I did.

I told him if he had to do that to get ahead that was he. I said I was tired of the sexual advances I told him I would not under any circumstances sleep with him ever! I told him he never gave me a receipt for the $250. He told me I owed him much more money. I reminded him about the back up PA work I did and the editing he told me once I edit the final video we would only charge me the $500. I told him I was not going to edit the video I did not want to do anymore work other than the work I already paid him for.

I asked him how much are you now trying to charge me for the video he said $1000. I said what about the work I did he said that was out of the kindness of my heart. I told him well give me back me deposit. He said what deposit I said that was fine I will not use him for anything ever again I told him he could keep the $250 but I want my MAC charger back. He asked me what was my address so he could mail it to me I told him I was not giving him my address and I did not want to see him ever again. I told him to leave I with the doorman of his building I will drop off His flash drive and Tablet and that’s what I did.

I have pondered this situation over and over because even though I re-shot the video I couldn’t even neither release it nor even promote it. I didn’t want anything to do with the track. His behavior made me question if I really wanted to continue to work in this business. My sons didn’t let me give up he reminded me why I wrote the track in the first place. I blamed myself over the indent I questioned everything from his behavior to what I was wearing.

I had on shirt with jeans and sneakers the first time and sweat suit the second time and it really didn’t matter what I was wearing he had no reason to act in that manner. I sat down and thought about when he was naked in front of me was it a mistake or was he in fact grooming me? Did I under react to his sexual misconduct? I thought about all the things I should have done. I finally realized it was not me I did nothing wrong this wasn’t my problem it was his. I tried to put this situation behind me but I really don’t think I ever will I wanted to share my story to prevent other person from encountering the same situation.

I stressed and went back and fourth over this. Finally I decided I want people to know what he did and what he is capable of. I finally found peace once I also penned a poem called ”Silence” which speaks of sexual abuse. I would like to dedicate it to all victims suffering from sexual abuse and I encourage any person man, woman, or child to step forward and share their story.

Industry Steps

• Do your research on this person or company
• Call companies for employment verification check out recommendations.
• Keep all Paperwork. Make sure you get Contracts, deposit slips and whatever promises is made make sure it’s all in writing.
• Keep all contact info such as phone logs, emails, video, voicemail messages, and text messages.
• Make sure to have someone accompany you.
• If you can safely record the situation record it!
• If you feel unsafe in anyway leave say you’re not feeling well and get yourself out of the situation.
• If you need immediate help call 911 or go to the hospital
• Never blame yourself keep yourself!

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